Remember back to the first time you left your kids for a weekend.....remember the anxiety, the excitement, the novel you wrote to your parents or nanny or babysitter outlining every possible detail of your child's existence. Remember the feeling that even though you knew in your head you would all survive the weekend away, you wondered if anything would be the same when you returned.

Now think about leaving 1400 children for the weekend. That's what I did. I left all of my patients and staff and went to San Diego for the weekend. I arranged for Jeff Goza to fill in for me in the office and round for me, his wife Amy, one of my RN staff, to take call along with Jeff and even put an autoreply on my email and changed my cell phone voicemail message to tell everyone I was pretty much unavailable. And then on Thursday after work I left.

Thursday night went fine of course because I was in flight for 5 hours and there would have been no chance to email or text or talk to patients anyway but Friday was HARD. I was busy and had things to do of course (I was there for a conference) but found myself unable to stop myself from texting Amy to find out how things were going and follow up on labs and make sure all was going well. I was chastised of course by Cinzia and Amy for not trusting that all would be fine but still couldn't help myself. I still found myself compulsively checking my iPhone email and text messages and even though there were very few and I had promised myself to let the auto reply 'solve' any issues, I still had to reply to several of you on Friday.

As if Amy understood my personal limits, she asked to not take call on Saturday because she was hosting about 2 million relatives for her childrens' first and fourth birthdays and I was secretly glad. I was glad to be awoken at 6 am San Diego time and answer questions from parents, glad to respond to emails all day, glad to be needed. I still went out to dinner at a jazz club last night, enjoyed the day and my meeting but felt somewhat more comfortable again.

Today was my flight home and early today I got a frantic facebook message from a parent asking me to look at some photos she had sent. I looked at them and responded before my flight but for the first time, I was glad to turn off the phone and read and write for the whole flight back. I realized as tomorrow draws near that you all did survive and so did I. More importantly I realized that even if I hadn't taken any call on Saturday we all would have made it.

This was a trial run for my long trip to Peru. I leave on April 2nd and return on April 13th in the evening and with this much shorter practice run, I will be ready. I will be able to turn off my phone and actually concentrate on my kids and the exotic sights of South America knowing we will all do just fine.

Whew!

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